Space Juice

Cosmogony - F to J


Grulos Jandy:

In 2420 Grulos Jandy began a series of experiments aimed at limiting the side effects caused by long interstellar hyperjumps (jumps with a distance greater than 10 parsecs). Jandy's experiments were known for their thoroughness and ethical neutrality: he experimented on everything, from mice to men. He even made men eat mice. Jandy ultimately determined that longer hyperjumps could be accomplished with fitter personnel, so he formulated the grueling Jandy exercise regime. Combining pilates, yoga and tools used by the Spanish Inquisition, Jandy's regime produced astronauts capable of jumping a further 5 parsecs. Controlled jumps of 15 parsecs opened a whole new interstellar neighbourhood to curious humanity, or at least to those who were curious and also supremely fit. Ultimately, Jandy will be remembered for his hard hitting experimentation. He lost all control of himself in his later years, exploiting his high-standing to satisfy his sadistic cravings.



Half-hearted love interest of Chuck Marley, which is a coincidence, because Sirians actually do only have half a heart. Unfortunately for Marley, this half is consumed with her affections towards her fiance, a Banker from Betelgeuse.


A hyperjump of more than 10 parsecs. "Oh that a man's leap should exceed his jump, or what's a fusion engine for?" - att. to Bobby Browning, early Earthen poet.



Intergalactic Prudence Board:

A relative newcomer to galactic administration, the Intergalactic Prudence Board (IPB) was instituted by the Council of Plutocrats (COP) in 2850 to stem a growing wave of dissent critical of Earth. The COP brought together representatives from several worlds and species and maintains that the IPB has complete and unfettered independence from the COP and makes its own decisions. Betelgeuse VII refuses to have anything to do with the IPB, and allows its citizens complete freedom to say what they want (particularly if directed towards Earthens). However other human colonies, such as those on Crete 581d and 581f, uphold the decrees of the IPB, meaning it is against the law to call Earth "a vainglorious collection of old fossils", or an "institution of uppity dumplings", or simply an "institution". On the advice of the Council of the Plutocrats, the Intergalactic Prudence Board recently outlawed the use of further profanities. Ostensibly this was to clean the language  of the Outer Rim, but Dr Boson maintained it was really a cover for one of the IPB's more cynical measures, the proposed banning of books. We are not allowed to mention which words are outlawed due to heavy fines imposed by the IPB for even hinting at them.

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Gaston D'Imbroglio:

It is rumoured that the manuscript of Space Juice fell into the hands of Dan Wild when D'Imbroglio left it in his shirt pocket, which then found its way into the washing machine, which incidentally is located next to the warp drive on Chuck Marley's ship, the Anaconda.